Obesity may be linked to outsourcing
Alright, so the title may be a little misleading, but there may be some merit to it. Obesity has been on the rise since the inception of this country, but only recently (the last twenty years) has it reached pandemic status. Think about that for a moment. More and more jobs have been sent overseas, labor intensive jobs, work that actually made a person break a sweat. We've begun this gradual progression from an industrial, manufacturing entity to wait staff, trading steel toed boots for loafers. Swapping Dickies for khakis. We evolved from a manufacturing industry into a service industry. Except for plumbers; there will always be fat plumbers.
I thought maybe obesity was directly linked to the slow decline in smoking, you know, that taboo practice wherein one lights up a cyclindrical tube of paper filled with organic material grown by evil farmers and sold to the only creatures in the world stupid enough to voluntarily inhale smoke. But that didn't pan out, because the percentage of smokers has stayed relatively unchanged for nigh on thirty years, approximately 23% of the population. Even with the ever increasing taxes, no-smoking laws, dirty looks and feigned disgust, the percentage hasn't moved. Though, that being said, the numbers, like the census taken of the poor, are not static. Somebody quits, somebody starts. That may also explain the increase in the mass of the earth. As we all know, ex smokers gain weight. I personally gained fifty pounds the first time I quit. Smoking, or not smoking anymore, has a ripple effect that carries over to children. Being the child of a parent or two that smoked, the kid also breathed in the nicotine and carcinogens their parent(s) expelled. As we all know, nicotine makes for a great appetite suppressant. Back when 104% of the population smoked, everyone inhaled this dexatrim, thus maintaining their killer figures. So maybe the politically correct and lawmakers are responsible for our obesity.
I briefly thought about work causing stress, but according to physics, that would be impossible. Energy has to be exerted in order for there to be work. Then I thought maybe stress from work, because the television told me that's what caused weight gain. But, from a medical standpoint, that can't work, because stress causes a fight or flight response. So, unless you're pummelling your stomach with double quarter pounders or running headlong into a pool of sundaes, that won't work. Besides, if stress is making us fat, we just need to count to ten.
What about technology? I think technology has a major impact on our physical appearance. It started with the rock. The first caveman to pick up a stone and crush an animal's head naturally gained weight because food was easier and more plentiful. As weapons became more effective from greater distances, less effort was required to attain food. The invention of and increase in creature comforts through the ages has reduced the degree of daily labor. Air conditioning and the remote control have greatly contributed the way we waddle through life. Thomas Edison is the reason we're fat. Electricity has made us all morbidly obese. Henry Ford has made us all fat bastards. Da Vinci tried, but he was too advanced for the material of his time. Bell introduced the party line and sealed the death of the long distance messenger.
I still come back to outsourcing, though. All those foreigners busting their humps, doing all our old jobs, staying slim and attractive (have you seen the women in Haifa, Israel?). Outsourcing has gotten so bad now, that we've even had to outsource parenting and child play. Can you believe it? I have to admit though, watching little roly poly kids trying to learn how to play with others is so damn funny! It's like watching real live weeble wobbles.
I just had an epiphany. We're all fat because you're sitting here in front of you're damned computer reading this crap I've just typed. Shame on you. Do some jumping jacks or something. Gosh!